I Talk, You Listen.
Sunday, February 13, 2005

Lilian's Super-Huge Monitor.

So what have we learnt last week?

I was cleaning up my house back at my HOME (wherever that HOME was) when I stumbled upon an ancient relic hanging around / sitting proudly near the pots and plants.

Lilian's sad-looking-ouch-I-broke-my-outer-shell computer monitor.

So what did I do with it?

Of course I didn't just throw it away just like that. I NEEDED to dismember it.

Well, since young I have this urge to dismantle everything in the house - when they're already half-broken and unusable, that is. Even my little M.A.S.K. figurines weren't spared. Some of you might have the same experience - did you ever think how a toy car, on a touch of a button, is able to transform into some kind of sky plane with rotating wheels? The mechanics inside each toy was mind-boggling. Insane. Incomprehensible.

Not so now.

With the NEW! and IMPROVED! amazing product called a BRAIN! (which I found out only when I hit puberty, due to the constant thoughts of sex), I actually learned that these toys work in a series of mechanical engines and nuts and screws all connected in some oh-so-keng-chaw way. Thus, all my imaginations of some kind of hot entombed female fairy creature doomed to service inside it for eternity was diminished.

Okay, back to Her Royal Highness' monitor: I'll walk you through what I did step by step.

i) Laid her on the floor, gave her a smile, looked at her for 3 minutes and then proceeded without any pre-planning.

ii) Blew off the layer of dust and wiped her carefully with my palms - paying close attention as to not scratch her glass cathode ray tube. Behold, her naked white flesh. I breathe in.

iii) I cough. The dust.

iv) I saw her crack, I mean, 'the' wide crack. Other than the long crack running across her body, I guess she's still pretty operatible. I reach in and I try to pull it's white carapace off. Her white satin dress.

v) I see her. Externally naked, her rear was beyond comprehension. Diodes, transistors, and whatnots all hang at the mercy of run-down cob-webbed IC board affixed onto the inner base of the monitor. My hands itch. I grab.

vi) As I slowly extract the internal elecrtronical devices, I find myself at awe at how far man has advanced in pc hardware developement. You see, your's truly's monitor here is as humongous as a minotaur's head on a pike. As heavy as a bull who had just chow down it's meal of the day. As hideous as a box with a black screen. Nowadays, you go around campus and you see kids having LCD screens, which weights like an ant's uncle.

No wonder she was so happy to get rid of it when she stopped by my place.

vii) I've salvaged some parts and I found myself enthralled by the sight I've created. I've collected so many electroncial parts I can feed the DeLorean and send myself to the future. Mom yelled at me to quickly finish up what I'm doing so that I can lend a hand to whatever cookies she's baking. Okay, so what am I supposed to do with this junk?

viii) "It's a junkyard out there." I told dad. "Careful where you walk."

ix) I got the car keys and I chucked the remains of what used to be Lilian's Great and Might Monitor into the boot. Onward! To the nearest Rubbish Dump! w00t.

x) It is now part of the eco system. I throw a lily into the same Rubbish Dump I threw the monitor into. Paid my last respects, said a prayer (quick! before I choke and smell like shit!) and left the scene.

"And what happend to the salvaged parts you wanted so much?" dad asked.

"Oh, I didn't take any."


That's what we've learnt last week.
posted by onions at 13:47


Blogger liani3 the ahLian said...

don't exaggerate la..its not a SUPER HUGE MONITOR kay :D
it's a 5 yr old cheap unbranded 17inch bulky piece of plastic!
anyways, glad you enjoyed 'undressing' it!>:)
helped me get rid of it easily!thanks!;)

3:07 AM  
Anonymous yuin said...

I just re-read this post... Suddenly noticed a whole bunch of 'details' in the steps that I didn't notice in the afternoon. And all I can say is:


No further comment.

Okay, maybe just one.

"It's so 'you'!"


5:33 AM  

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